Choice Supports Agency
Last week I wrote about The Language of Choice and the importance of not bossing ourselves around - of giving ourselves options and making space for curiosity and exploration. I explored choice through the lens of self-compassion. If you missed it, you can read that blog here.
This week I want to talk about another reason that language of choice is so important:
Choice Supports Agency
How often have you felt yourself to be choice-less?
Does it ever feel difficult to make decisions for yourself?
Have you ever felt out of touch with your body such that when you asked your body what it needed, you felt hard pressed to come up with an answer?
These questions explore our own sense of agency - our experience of being in charge of our lives. Do you remember as a kid, how badly you wanted to be your own boss - insert phrase, “you’re not the boss of me”? We thought that when we “grew up”, being in charge would be simple.
But it’s actually not that simple. So many things can impede our sense of agency. Trauma, roles we play in interpersonal relationships, childhood family dynamics, dysregulated nervous systems - the list goes on and on. So many events in our lives can make us forget that no one knows what’s best for us, better than we do.
No yoga teacher knows what it feels like to be in your physical body. No therapist knows what’s happening in your mind. And no partner or friend knows exactly what you are feeling.
You're the expert. You're the teacher. You're the guru. You're the only one that holds the wisdom of your specific body/mind/brain.
Enter language of choice. By giving yourself options, pausing to consider them, and injecting self-compassion, you build agency.
So often, I talk about taking a pause - the process of pausing to listen and then responding to the request. We do this so well for the people we care about. When our loved ones share their sorrows or their overwhelm, we ask them what they need.
But what about you? How often do you ask yourself what you need and then pause to listen to the answer? And how often do you respond with an emphatic "yes"?
If the answer is, “not very often”, that’s just fine. Like all things, it takes practice. You just have to begin.
And the benefits are huge!!!
First off, you get to meet your own needs. But it’s not just about meeting your needs.
It’s ultimately about agency.
When we pause to connect with ourselves, to consider our options and choose what’s best for us, we build agency. We increase our experience of being our own boss (without being bossy), of being our own best and most compassionate teacher, and of being thoroughly on our own side. Because, while we may have incredible relationships in our lives, feeling deeply connected with ourselves and feeling empowered in our lives might just be the most important thing out there.
So just to recap, practicing the language of choice grows:
A deeper relationship between your body and your mind
Self compassion
Self trust
Self agency
And generally makes your life altogether better:)
Consider this another gentle invitation:)
If you’d like to explore these concepts through mindfulness practices like yoga and meditation, you are also invited to join the Your Yoga Community. You can get started with a free one-week trial.
Another option is this month's workshop on Sunday, May 23 - Yoga for Bone Health: An Integrative Approach. Yet another opportunity to explore the language of choice as we play with movement to help us maintain and even build bone strength. This workshop is appropriate for practitioners of all ages.
Yoga for Bone Health: An Integrative Approach
Click here for more info or to register
As always, don’t hesitate to reach out. I'd love to connect!
Sending so much love,
Rachel